“[Jesus said] that the son of man must undergo great suffering… and be killed…”
Mark 8:31
This Gospel displays how honest Jesus is. Christ’s suffering and death were inevitable in the eyes of The Divine. God’s offspring is simply too radical for the traditions and power structures of this world. This leads Jesus to be completely transparent with his disciples and acknowledge the impending execution in this section from Mark 8 (seven chapters before Jesus is killed). Honesty doesn’t go well for Jesus. Peter yells at his teacher. This is what sometimes happens when God moves us to be vulnerable and honest. We might not like the truth.
I want to be honest as a faith leader. How can I describe what it is like to live with bipolar type 1 honestly? I want you to know. I really do. You see, I know nothing else than my own brain. It is who I am. Maybe this next paragraph will give you some insight.
I only know the flashes of inspiration that seem massive and brilliant. I only know that when the bustling thoughts of my mind are revisited a week later, they seem bizarre and embarrassing. I only know how periods of concentrated activity and enthusiastic deep reflection give way to an inevitable debilitating malaise. I only know how my low moments can trap me on the couch for months on end.
For years, I was afraid to be a pastor living with a mental health condition. It had to be a secret. Why? I preach a faith centered around The Spirit of Truth, The God of Justice, and Jesus, a sometimes painfully honest messiah. Christ is so honest he talks about his inevitable crucifixion. If God is so honest…what made me think I needed to hide who I was at church? The Divine really doesn’t hide anything.
A simple answer…I strongly believe that the church culture I grew up in taught me to hide my supposed abnormality. That church culture is what I seek to reform today.
Truthful Creator, teach us to face honesty. Inspire us to feel the safety of your presence when the world may misunderstand who we are.
